Awesome Quotes

When you're teaching children, you can't help but get awesome quotes from them.  Sometimes they say things on purpose to be funny, especially by third grade, which is what I teach, but sometimes they just say things that come out hilarious.  Us teachers would often email "Quotes of the Day" to each other to share the smiles, and Bekah recently found all the emails we'd sent with these quotes.  Here are my favorites.

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We’re listening to a Chris Tomlin CD this afternoon while they’re coloring their cookbooks…Anna (who knows all the words to all the songs and always sings along) says out of the blue “That’s some great harmony, Chris Tomlin!”
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“Mrs. Grubbs! My books in my backpack are so cold!”
Me: Why are they so cold?
“I don’t know…oh yeah…my mom put my backpack in the freezer.”

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We took a reading quiz on a story about Nathan Hale, and the bonus question was “What were Nathan Hale’s famous last words?” (For reference, they were “I regret that I have but one life to give for my country.) Here are some of my kids' responses:

If I had two lives, both would be for my country.

I have only one life, that is to serve my country.


If I had another life, it would be my country.


I rather risk my life for my country.

If I had another life, I would give it up too.

And my personal favorite…

If I were only two people, it would be a much better life.

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Noah was getting ready to start reading James' book, and I said, "Now Noah, let them read." And James said, "Oh he is. He's just going to read this little Christian part first."

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"Why shouldn't Bobby keep the pogo stick?"

"Umm...Because some healing people might not have a mother, so they might need it..."

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"I don't even know how to spell CAT in cursive!"

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One little boy was talking about possibly going to Paris one day and he said,  "Before we go, my parents want me to learn Paris so I can talk to people."

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"If I were two inches tall, I would probably have to marry a paperclip. Awkward!"
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"My tummy feels like I just swallowed a trash can."

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"Mrs. Grubbs, if I have Viagra water, does that mean it came from Viagra Falls?"

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As as student shakes his poster to get the eraser crumbs off, he says, "That's some fine, American paper, you know?"

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Student 1: Hey, guys, let's play a flashcard game.

Student 2: No way! This is recess, not LEARN-cess!

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Student 1: That's not a real word!

Student 2: Well, I just made it up. It's the best I could do--a big word on short notice!

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After a student spilled his drink in his lunchbox and ruined his lunch, he came up to me and said, "Well......at least I still have my socks......and my dignity!"

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"My throat feels like it's sprained!"

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Worksheet: Look at the calendar. What is the date of the third Wednesday?

Student: Friday

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We were writing "I have" poems, where they write like, "I have brown eyes like my mom. I have brown hair like my sister." etc. And the last line is, "I have ___________________, but ______________ doesn't"

One boy wrote:

"I have self control, but my dad doesn't."

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Two of my boys were playing a geosafari game with a globe, and all of a sudden I hear one of them say loudly, and with lots of concern, "Tropic of CANCER???!!!"

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My kids were writing advice to incoming third graders and one of the girls said, "Make sure to laugh at Mrs. Grubbs' jokes, even if they're not funny. She likes that."

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"Here's a dime, Mrs. Grubbs, for being the bestest teacher of forever!"