How to Be Awesome at Making Unpaper Towels

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I've seen this idea floating around Pinterest for a while, and it's always been on my "Maybe Do List."  They are paper towels that you don't have to keep buying!  All the convenience of having something you can grab off a roll in a hurry, but without all the waste of paper or money!   Sounds great!

I looked at just buying some, and there are some cute ones on Etsy, but they were pretty pricey, and rightly so for all the work it takes, but just not something I wanted to spend money on.  For a while, we just mainly used dish towels, because I have approximately seventy-three of them, and they work just as well.  And that's fine, but that means that my towel drawer is always jammed full, I never have enough places to hang towels, and it's still not as convenient as just tearing something off a roll.  Plus, it would be super cute to have a roll of unpaper towels that matched my kitchen colors!  Let's just be honest here.  That was the selling point.

Ok, so here's my walk-through on making unpaper towels.  For a much more professional and easy to follow tutorial, go to this blog, which is what I used.

Step 1:  Find your Fabric

You will need two yards of regular cotton fabric and two yards of terry cloth.  My kitchen colors are black and red, so I was excited to find two yards of an awesome black and red material in my stash!  I think I got it on sale at a craft store.

Finding the terry cloth was a little harder.  I really wanted black because it went really well with my colors, but also because I figured it would hide stains and messes the best.  This proved easier said than found, and I ended up ordering it online.

Step 2:  Prepare your Fabric

You have to wash and dry your fabrics, especially your terry cloth, or this will all end in disaster.

Trust. Me.

Step 3:  Assemble Your Supplies

In addition to your fabrics, you will also need scissors and/or a rotary cutter and mat (not necessary but very handy), a ruler or template for your squares, thread to match your fabric, and something to sew with.  (The tutorial I used just said to hand sew them, but I used my machine.)

     

You will also need snaps.  That's what makes these unpaper towels so cool.  They snap together to form a roll!  I thought about using velcro because it would be cheaper and easier, but it would be a mess in the washer/dryer and would probably ruin your terry cloth.  So snaps it is.  I went ahead and got a big pack of different colors so I'll have options for future projects.  You'll need something to put the snaps on with, too.  I got my stuff online.

     

Step 4:  Cut Your Fabric

If you've ever read my series about making my quilt, you know that I am the certified worst at cutting fabric.  Like, I have an actual certificate of worstness.

I'm terrible.

Anyway, so this was difficult for me.  I decided early on that the super easy "use a 12 inch square to draw on your fabric" idea in the tutorial was not ok.  I can't even remember why.  Maybe I thought it would mess up my fabric, or maybe I was afraid I wouldn't be able to see it well.  For whatever reason, though, I decided that I was going to very carefully measure each 12 inch square with a ruler and cut it with my rotary cutter.  

This was not at all easy.  The fabric kept moving, and I was on the floor so I was crawling all around trying to cut it from different angles.  I tried folding it so I could cut out several at once, but I couldn't ever get it just right, and it was taking forever, so finally I just gave up and cut out fifteen squares individually.  

All of this took about two hours.  I'm sure there is a better, much faster way, but like I said.  I'm terrible.

Then I had to cut out the terry cloth, which took another bajillion hours, and made a huge mess, because that stuff sheds like a tiny black dog and makes it look like your house is infested with really lazy ants.

Step 5:  Sew Them Together

The sewing part isn't hard at all.  Just sew one square of fabric to one square of terry cloth, right sides together, and leave a 4 inch gap so you can turn it right side out.  Then sew around the whole thing again.

You will probably forget to leave that gap at least once, so have the seam ripper handy.

Since there were fifteen unpaper towels, this just took forever.  I would get three or four done on a good day, and then I'd get busy and put everything away for a week before taking it all out again.  

My kingdom for a sound-proof crafting room.

Step 6:  Add Snaps

I was terrified of this part.  I was convinced it would be super hard and I would make a mess of it.

Much to my surprise, it was actually really easy!  You just stab the sharp end through the back of the fabric and then put the other end over it, pinch really hard with the special pliers, and that's it!  It's like magic!  They said to make a hole in the fabric first with the awl in the kit, but I only did that once and decided it was more trouble than it was worth.  The snaps are plenty sharp enough to go through terry cloth.

I did have a little trouble lining them up, and I ended up doing better just eyeballing it instead of trying to measure.  I just kept telling myself it didn't have to be perfect.  These are just for me, and they will be all rolled up, so no one will  know if they are a little imperfect.

You can barely see the black snaps in the corners.

Step 7:  Make Your Center

You need something at the core of your roll of unpaper towels, or it won't come off the dispenser easily.  (Ask me how I know.)  You can use a cardboard tube from an empty paper towel roll, or for something more permanent, you can get a piece of PVC pipe.  Eventually I might get Brian to make me a PVC one, but for now, I just used a leftover cardboard tube and poked the snaps right through without a problem.

Here's the finished product!

As a whole, I give this project a C+.  It took just really forever to do from start to finish.  Like, to the point where I kept giving up and putting it away for months at a time, and then coming back and trying it again and then giving up again in a horrible cycle for an entire year.  In the end, it took a motivational seminar to give me the resolve I needed to suck it up and finish these stupid things.  Also, because I am (see certificate above) terrible at the measuring and cutting aspect of this, the pieces don't line up perfectly when you snap them together, which bothers me as a perfectionist.

Oh, and I made way too many.  If you decide to make these, start with like, ten.  Or maybe like, five.  See how it goes first before committing to so many.

So the moral of the story is, if you find yourself wanting to make something like this, BUY THEM OFF ETSY, or stick some snaps on your dish towels and save yourself literally a year of having this project hanging over your head.

But, yay unpaper towels!

Awesome Tips for Organizing Your Kitchen

If there is one room in my house that I would like to keep organized, it's my kitchen.

If there is one room that never stays organized, it's my kitchen.

This leads to a cycle of continuous reorganizing, replanning, and then messing it up again.

I'm getting better though.  My issue is that I have very little counter space or drawer space.  I have lots of cabinet space, but it's not all the right size for what I would like to use it for.  These factors force me to get creative when it comes to finding logical, practical places for food and utensils to live.

I have worked for a while on the best ways to organize my kitchen, tried out a lot of things, and come up with a few really good ideas, mostly from Pinterest, but also a few from Brian and a few from my own desperate brain.  Here are my most awesome organizational tips for the kitchen.

1)  Magnet Strip for Knives

Brian suggested this because he's a genius.  My knife block took up a lot of room on  my counter, so why not get rid of it and mount a magnetic bar to the backsplash instead?

Obviously, this has to be well out of reach of children, but it works so well!  No more figuring out which hole is the right size for which knife!  No more big clunky block taking up a square foot of valuable counter space!  No more pulling three handles out before you find the knife you're actually looking for.  Genius.

2)  Produce Baskets

I saw this idea on Pinterest forever ago, but I modified it because I wanted bigger baskets.  It took me over a year to find the baskets I wanted.  For some reason, none of the places I looked carried anything similar.  Brian finally found these at Home Depot, I think.  We got three, and I love them.

Since I am trying to eat a lot more fresh food, that means lots of produce that was just sitting on my counters, again taking up space!

This way, it frees up my counter, and makes it look much nicer, too!

3)  Hang Measuring Cups and Spoons

This is another idea I saw on Pinterest, and it works really well, although I simplified mine.  I just got Brian to put some hooks on the inside of one of my cabinet doors, and I have one set of measuring spoons and cups that I keep on them, plus a couple of extra hooks for extra spoon sets.

That way, I can grab just my 1/8 teaspoon without having to use all the other spoons in that set, too.  Plus, no more rifling through drawers to find the one you need, and it frees up more space in my drawers for other things!

My only warning about this is that it took me a while to get used to the motion and the sound that they make when you open the cabinets.  For the first week or two, I just about jumped out of my skin every time I opened the cabinet door, thinking something was jumping out at me.  Now, I don't even notice it.  I have heard that the silicone collapsing measuring cups and spoons would help with that, but I don't own any.

4)  Leave Room for new things

Whenever I organize my pantry, it always looks so nice.  Everything is visible and accessible, and all the like items are grouped together.  Baking goods, canned goods, oils and vinegars, etc.

Then I go grocery shopping.

This always frustrates me because of course I return home with new things, like another canister of oatmeal, or a new bottle of honey, or a new bag of flour.  These things don't have a home, because the almost-empty bottle of honey or canister of oatmeal is still in it's place.  I empty my flour into my canister, but I still have two pounds in the bag.  Agh!

What usually happens at this point is that I just make room for them haphazardly, stacking them on top of something else, shoving the oatmeal next to the hot chocolate because it's the only place it fits, etc.

And now I'm unorganized again.

My new solution, then, is that this time, when I organized my pantry, I intentionally left open spaces for new items.

Space on the shelf next to the Cheerio's.

I know, that sounds so elementary that it can't possibly be worth mentioning, but I figure it took me nine years of running my own house to figure it out, so surely someone else has this problem, too.

5)  Accessibility is Key

I don't know if anyone else does this, but I default to organizing my kitchen pretty much the same way my mom did.

(Well, I mean, when I organize my kitchen and don't just stack stuff on top of each other like an edible Jenga game...)

After all, it's what I grew up with, so I'm used to it.  The problem is that my kitchen now is not at all set up like the ones I grew up in.

For example, my mom always stored the pots and pans in the drawer under the stove.  I did too, in our old apartment, but when we moved into this house, I found that the drawer below the stove is teeny tiny, and not at all tall enough for even one pot, let alone several.  I kind of panicked.  Where do pots and pans go if not under the stove?

So for about two years, they have been in a bottom cabinet beside the refrigerator, because they didn't fit in most of the other cabinets.  This is super annoying because I had to basically kneel down to get to them, and they were just stacked on top of each other, so they were always clanging around and making noise, and I almost lost a digit every time I tried to wrangle one out from under all the others.  Not at all convenient or accessible.  Also, moderately dangerous.

I cleared off one shelf that had previously held my casserole dishes and other baking pans,

and now it holds my pots and skillets!

This make so much sense, since I use them more than just about anything else in the kitchen.  It might not seem like putting them in the pantry is a logical choice, but if you can look beyond where you think things are "supposed" to go, and see where they would be more accessible, you might come up with some creative new ideas for organization!

6) Label

I love to label things (and people, but I'm working on that...).  I have a great little label maker and a huge supply of computer labels ready at a moment's notice.  I saw some pictures on Pinterest of a kitchen someone had organized and they had labeled everything so neatly, it really made it look more polished.

I got a bunch of storage containers from the Dollar Tree, printed off some labels on my computer, and voila! So easy!

(Actually, at the time, it wasn't that easy.  I kept trying to find some super cute templates, but none of them were customizable, so it was either use their six pre-made labels or just be happy with basic labels that say what I want them to say.  I chose the latter.)

Labels are great because you never have to wonder, "Is this all-purpose flour, wheat flour, white wheat flour, whole wheat pastry flour, pasta flour, or bread flour?"  Yes, I have all of those flours.  Don't judge.

Also, when you run out of something, you don't have to remember what was in the container!  Heaven forbid I should accidentally put organic whole wheat pastry flour in the container that used to hold pasta flour!


I hope that this inspires you to organize your kitchen in a way that is more helpful and easier to use.  I'd love to hear some of your favorite tips and tricks as well!

Unless your advice is to buy fewer types of flour.  No one wants to hear that.

How to Throw an Awesome First Birthday Party

First birthday parties are tricky.  On one hand, everyone tells you not to go overboard because the kid won't remember anything, and really, it's more about celebrating that you made it through the first year of parenthood than anything else.

But on the other hand, everyone you know is throwing these big, elaborate parties with custom-ordered photo invitations, themed party supplies, and professionally crafted cakes.  No joke.  It can be kind of intimidating, and because you usually invite those same people to your party, the pressure is there.

So what happened was, I had this split personality thing going on.  I was constantly fighting my urges to throw an enormous, no-holds-barred bash and also constantly reminding myself that I am a level-headed, frugal person who knows Cricket won't even remember this party and it's not a competition.  To give you an idea of the tug of war going on in my head, I will share not only the steps to throwing the party, but the temptations that I fought at each step of the process.

1)  Decide on the guest list.

Temptation:  Invite all 547 of my Facebook friends.  Send invitations to Buckingham Palace and the White House, just in case.

Reality:  We decided to have a "small family party" because Cricket is pretty shy, and she gets overwhelmed easily in large groups, or even really in groups of three or more.  The problem is, our family is rather large, and we did have a few friends that we consider family that we wanted to invite, which is a good problem, but it meant that our "small family party" ended up hosting over twenty people!

2)  Decide on a theme.

Temptation:  Create an elaborate, multi-leveled extravaganza that appeals to all ages.  Include symbolism and subtle satire, along with recognizable characters, catchy music, and a visual explosion of decorations.

Reality:  We sat down and brainstormed different ideas for how we wanted the party to look.  Themes can actually make planning a party simpler, since it helps you focus on specific things.  Since Cricket is just a year old, she really doesn't have any preferences yet on what she likes, but she does like bright colors (like her mama) so we decided to go with a rainbow/polka dot theme because it would be easy to find multi-colored decorations and supplies even at the dollar store, and a few polka dots would bring it all together.  No special ordering required!

3)  Decide on a menu.

Temptation:  Have it catered.  Baby's first lobster is a special event!

Reality:  We were trying to incorporate our "Real Food" lifestyle, so we chose baked potatoes with a selection of toppings for our main food.

We kept the actual potatoes in the oven to stay warm.

They are easy to customize, and pretty much everyone likes them.  We also had yellow Oreos (I didn't say everything would be healthy!) and fruit kebabs, arranged in the colors of the spectrum, of course!  For drinks, we made colored ice cubes out of different flavors of Kool-Aid and used them in Sprite, so they changed the color and flavor of your drink.  (Pinterest!)

I also made a "baby buffet" because I knew there would be several young children coming who might appreciate some foods they recognize.  I put out containers of YoBaby Yogurt, some whole wheat puffs, Graham crackers, applesauce, and some other things most babies like.

4)  Choose a cake.

Temptation:  Do we still have the number for the lady that did our wedding cake?

Reality:  A while back, I made these Mason jar cakes for the Fourth of July, and they were a huge hit!  I decided to do it again, but with all the colors of the rainbow.

It was great because the jars really showed off the colors, and it's a really big serving, which makes everyone happy.  I used boxed cake mixes and canned frosting because by that point, I was getting overwhelmed.  The downside to the jar cakes is that you have to know how many people are coming, and you can't really stretch it to serve more people like you can with a regular cake.  I found some colorful fabric on sale and cut squares with pinking shears to decorate the lids.

I also wanted to have a "real" cake for Cricket to smash, so I made a small round cake from scratch and decorated it.  I didn't want her to eat all those dyes, so hers was just a plain yellow cake with buttercream icing.

5)  Decorate the house.

Temptation:  Remodel your entire house to fit your theme in a way that is both childlike and timeless.  Something she will be proud of, and talk about, even when she is thirty years old.  Repaint the walls!  Install new fixtures!  Nothing is too good for your little snowflake!

Reality:  We found some great ideas on Pinterest for easy decorations.  We did a very cool canopy effect over the table using plastic table cloths from the dollar store.

I also came up with a few ideas of my own, like these photo polka dots on the wall.  I used pictures from almost every month to show how much she has grown.

I also used some of the leftover vinyl wall dots from the nook in the living room I decorated for her.  (I got those at Target!)

I made a really fun, colorful wreath out of balloons for the door.

I just got a foam wreath at Michael's and millions of balloons at the dollar store.  So fun!  I got the idea here, but I didn't follow her technique because it didn't seem to work for me.  Brian figured out that if you fold it into thirds or fourths and then pin it with straight pins, it looks much better.

We had already painted a wooden number one that we found at Michael's to use in Cricket's one year photo shoot, so we stuck it on the door in the middle of the wreath.  Awesome!

We started decorating a couple of weeks before the party, so we could do little bits at a time.  We have found this to be a workable option, especially when you have to stop constantly to take care of a small baby.

6)  Stay on budget.

Temptation:  Love means never having to say I'm sorry for maxing out the credit card.  Splurge!  She only turns 1 once, right?  This is too important for budgets!

Reality:  I would have loved to send out photo invitations, but that just wasn't in our budget, so I got some colorful ones at Target and printed out some small pictures of her from the Kodak kiosk to put in them.  We cleaned the house, put on some happy kids' music, used mostly glass plates and cups, and like I said above, got most of our decorations at the dollar store.  The food was the most expensive thing, and we still did really well with that.


In the end, we had a great time.  Everyone had plenty to eat and enjoyed the decorations.  Cricket hated the cake,

but that is not surprising considering how much she dislikes sticky things and sugar.  She had a great time anyway, though, and wasn't even horribly overwhelmed by all the people.  I wasn't too exhausted afterwards, and we didn't break the bank!  Good times were had by all!

And of course, I've already started planning for next year.

How to Be Awesome at Gardening

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not big on gardening.  In fact, one of my life-rules is, "If you cannot feed and water yourself, I don't have time to take care of you."

(I've had to alter that philosophy slightly since I had a baby.)

My point is, I don't have time for things that can't take at least basic care of themselves.  Even dogs can go get a drink when they need it.  Not plants.  Plants just lie there and die.  In fact, they're always kind of perpetually dying, and any time you water them, it just turns back the meter on how long until they die.

Actually, it's pretty much exactly like those Tamagotchi things we used to have in high school.

All that to say that, while I like the idea of gardening, the practical side of it seems overwhelming and painstaking.  Plus, the plants I've had in the past were always dying, and that's depressing.

Pictured:  The last plant my mother gave me.

Fast forward to my birthday.  I had mentioned previously to my mom, in an offhand way, that I thought I would like to try growing one thing this summer, just to see if I could do it.  My mom, who is an avid gardener, took this to mean that I was jumping into horticulture with both feet, and so for my birthday, she got me a bunch of daily chores herb plants,

Pictured:  Proof that a mother's hope springs eternal.

and a raised gardening bed.

(Some assembly required.)

Oh and dirt.  She got me dirt.

For my birthday.

But it's super special organic dirt, so that's ok.

Mom brought them over this weekend, and she was trying to tell me how to plant them and take care of them, and I swear I started to hyperventilate.  So many instructions!  So many things that could die!  So many things to remember to do every day, like...watering!  And...pinching off flower buds!  And then, THEN, she just goes out there and pulls off a stem of the basil.  She hurt my plant!  I've only owned it for like, an hour, and someone is ravaging it! 

Look, if there's one thing I learned from Ferngully, it's that plants can feel pain. 

Later that day, Brian put the raised bed together, and it is super cool. 

I don't have to get down on my knees or get really dirty or anything to use it, which is awesome.  Also, this way, Cricket won't be able to crawl/walk through it, and hopefully it will keep the critters out, because so help me, if Little Bunny Foofoo starts eating my basil...

Anyway, so here are my 13 steps to creating an awesome herb garden:

1)  Have the right gear.

The pinwheel is absolutely necessary.

Just like any other hobby, there is certain equipment that is vital to being able to do gardening right.  I went to the Dollar Tree and Target and found a small trowel, a spray nozzle for the hose, some gardening gloves (yellow, of course), a watering can, and a pinwheel, all for a dollar a piece.  I already had a floppy hat.

2)  Enlist a reliable assistant.

See her tiny trowel and watering can??

Preferably, you should select someone who has her own gear.  Make sure it's someone who doesn't mind getting dirty.

3)  Watch out for bugs.

This is a stock image.  I would never get this close to a bee.

The moment I walked outside, I was immediately accosted by some flying insect who tried to forcibly drink my tears.  Since I live in Alabama, I also have to keep my feet constantly moving to prevent my skin from being flayed off by fire ants, and several times a minute I had to dodge gigantic bumble bees and give some wasps the stink eye.  Outside is not for the weak.

4)  Take plants out of their pots.

I was kind of at a loss for how to do this at first.  Should I separate all the individual stems?  Do I dig them out of the pot with my trowel?  I finally figured out that the whole thing comes out in one block, sort of like how soup comes out of a can still looking like the shape of the can.  Mom said I should have fluffed the dirt around the roots, but I was afraid of tearing them, so I just left them in the block.  Also, the rest of my plants came in biodegradable pots that you just plant directly into the ground, so that makes it easier.

5)  Figure out where you want your plants.

Apparently my mom remembered that I love basil, so she got me a giant set of regular basil plants, two purple basil plants (which are very different from regular basil because they are purple), and some globe basil (which is totally a thing).  She also gave me two sweet pepper plants and some rosemary.

I put all the basils together because I thought they would like to be with their friends, but then I felt bad because maybe I was being too segregationist, and maybe they wanted to intermingle. I don't know.  I'm not sure how plant politics works.

6)  Dig holes and put plants in the holes.

This part was not hard.  I just moved some dirt out of the way, plopped the little plants in there, and smooshed the dirt back around them.  At this point, I started to think that, much like fishing, maybe I am a gardening genius!  This isn't so hard!  I can totally do this!  I'll never have to go to the grocery store again!

7)  Don't forget the little labels.

These help you remember what you planted.  You know, in case you suddenly draw a blank on which one is basil and which one is more different basil.  They also tell you how to take care of the plant.  And they make it look official.

8)  Water plants.

Use your new watering can, even though it works about as well, or maybe even a little worse than just using a pitcher from your pantry.  It is important to use the right tools.

9)  Call your mother and brag.

Feel free to tell her how awesome your garden looks and how easy it was. 

10)  At the advice of your mother, read directions on biodegradable pots.

PROTIP:  You could also do this before step 6.

11)  Dig up all plants.

Tear off the bottoms of the biodegradable pots and crumble the shards into the holes.  Apparently this is vitally necessary.  By this time, your pots will be soaking wet and falling apart in your hands.  This is normal. 

Side note:  WHY AREN'T GARDENING GLOVES WATERPROOF?  This seems like a no-brainer to me.

12)  Put plants back into their holes.

Smoosh dirt around them more, because now that the pots are in shambles, the plants are flopping around all over the place.  See?  They can't even remain upright on their own!  How are plants not extinct by now?!

13)  Check on plants at least once an hour.

This is to ensure that they do not either:

A)  instantly shrivel and die, or

B)  instantly blossom into a lush and verdant cornucopia of herbage, similar to the hanging gardens of Babylon.

You just never know.


And there you have it!  Now you have an awesome garden. 

Check back later for "How to Be Awesome at Making Ten Gallons of Pesto."

UPDATE:  Read part two of my gardening saga here!

Tag Team of Awesome--Kasey

I am so happy today to have a guest post written by my awesome friend and college roommate, Kasey Johnson.  Kasey and her family recently bought a house in LA and remodeled it before they moved in, which turned out to be quite an ordeal.  Her first piece of advice deals with the dreaded wallpaper removal process.

How to Be Awesome at Wallpaper Removal
by Kasey Johnson

Step 1: Pray

You should begin by asking the Lord to give you a forgiving heart toward the previous owners. During this process, you will be tempted to call down curses upon them, their progeny, their livestock and their manservants, but resist. Furthermore, you will need to arm yourself with the full armor of God, because this is a battle the likes of which has not been seen since Mordor. Satan was the creator of wallpaper - he did not leave this task to one of his mere minions. No no, the Prince of Darkness himself is responsible, so you are going to need all the help you can get.

Before--with wallpaper

Step 2: Seek out the weapons of mercy at Home Depot

You will need:
- a wallpaper scorer (a little round thing with razors inside)
- wallpaper removal stuff (liquid or concentrate)
- a commercial steamer (it's like $25 a day and I guarantee you will tear out your eyeballs without it)
- plastic putty knives (less likely to gouge the wall, although wall gouging is an unfortunate inevitability)

Step 3: Pray again

Just to be safe.

Step 4: Score the wallpaper

Remember, this is a battle. Do not merely run the tool over the wall lightly. You should scrub, HARD, as though you are trying to erase the stain of sin from your soul. Go over it and over it in a circular motion - you will notice the little holes being torn in the paper. This is to allow the wallpaper removal stuff to soak better.

Step 5: Spray the wallpaper removal stuff

Douse the wall with this stuff. You want the paper to be WET. Once it begins to dry, do it again. And maybe again. Oh, what the heck, do it again.

Step 6: Use the magical steamer of salvation

I cannot tell you how many hours (okay, well it was at least 10) we wasted trying to scrape off the wallpaper after step 5 with little success. The magical steamer of salvation saved our sanity. Simply run it over the walls to further soak the paper, and then take the plastic putty knife and peel up the paper. At this point it should come right up. However...

Step 7: Curse wallpaper

It was our experience that even after all these steps, sometimes only the top layer of the wallpaper came off. You may still have the backing of the wallpaper on the walls. If the walls feel soft at all, this is the case.

Step 8: Wet the backing and scrape again

If you still have the back of the wallpaper in places on the wall, all it will take at this point is a SOAKING WET sponge. Wet the wall (like, squeeze the sponge on it), possibly twice, and then it should come off pretty easily with the plastic putty knife.

Wallpaper successfully removed.

Step 9: Pray again

Thank the Lord that you survived that process and ask Him to give you the wisdom to never install wallpaper, or buy a house with wallpaper again.

How to Be Awesome at Home Decorating Part 1

As I have said before, we are moving soon.  Hopefully, if all goes well, we close on July the 8th, and we can start moving in on the 13th, which is a Wednesday.  The plan is for me to go start cleaning and painting that Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, and then we should be able to move in that weekend. 

In order to do this, we will have to be ready to start painting on Wednesday, the 13th, which is coming soon, so yesterday we decided to start looking at paint samples.  We went to our friendly neighborhood Home Depot and pretty much got one of everything they had in the Behr paint section.  And they do have lots of cool stuff.  They have little booklets that tell you cool color palettes to use and big booklets that tell you I guess their most popular colors. 

Pictured:  Color gradient overload.

Brian and I spent some time yesterday just going through everything and figuring out which ones we're not at all interested in, and which ones were possibilities. 

I should back this up.  Before we even got to Home Depot, I had to call my sister Mallary because she knows all about art and decorating and what is a good idea (an accent wall) vs. a bad idea (a rainbow wall).  I know none of this.  My idea was to paint every wall beige and then just decorate from there because I thought making different rooms different colors was bad.  I mean, I wanted to do that, but I thought it wasn't "sophisticated."  Apparently that's not the case.  I also found out from her that some of my color choices were not......modern.  I believe, "That's so 1995" was how she described one idea I had.

Which is why I called her, because I wouldn't know 1995 colors if they came up and bit me in the face.

Oh, and also, I'm colorblind.  This is a problem.  I think I've mentioned this before.  I'm not colorblind to everything, but brownish colors are difficult for me to distinguish, and so are mixes of colors, like orange-yellow or red-orange.  That's why I try to go with bright primary colors, which, for an elementary classroom is fun.  Not so much for a house.  Trying to tell the difference between "Sand Fossil" and "Seaside Sand" is torture.  There shouldn't be that many gradients of off-white. 

When we got married, we had some vague ideas about colors.  We thought red and black would be cool in the kitchen, and we thought forest green and maroon would be cool in the bedroom (but that is apparently 1995 talking).  Oh, and our bathroom is like, a sandstone and sage combination, which I like and which we'll probably keep.

So we spent a long time looking at paint chips and booklets and trying to figure out what to do with our new little house.

One of the problems is that all these colors have the most distractingly hilarious/crazy names.  Our favorite was "pale shrimp."  But there are so many crazy ones like Yacht Harbor--what color do you think that is?  Or "Lunar Light," "Outback," and "Wilderness," which sounds like a brainstorming session for a fantasy novel, but not like paint colors..

We also don't have too many pictures of the house and we've only seen it twice, so we were trying to remember details about it using the pictures from the appraisal.  Everyone keeps saying, just wait until you can test samples, but the thing is, we only have three days to paint before the furniture comes in and things get a lot more complicated.  Awesome.

All I know is, first order of business is get rid of that gigantic floral wallpaper in the kitchen and bathroom.  Stat.

I am not a wallpaper person.  I don't even like to wear clothes with patters, let alone surround myself with them in my room.  Bleh.  (Sorry to all y'all who really like wallpaper.  I'm sure your house looks great with it.  Not mine.)  And this wallpaper is pretty bad.  The giant flower/vine thing looks like Tarzan and Tiny Gulliver decided to set up a country kitchen.

So right now we're thinking a more subtle version of our original bedroom idea,

black and red accents for the kitchen,

and yellows for the second guest room.

That's about as far as we've gotten so far, other than already knowing the master bathroom.  I am open to suggestions or to someone contacting Extreme Home Makeover for me at any time.