Task-Oriented and Toddler-Oriented

If there is one thing that would help you get to know me, it's the fact that I am a task-oriented person, not a people-oriented person.  This one tiny fact can help you understand so much about why I do what I do.  I mean, of course, I like people.

Well, I like some people.

I like you.  You're cool.

And of course, I am always trying to get better at focusing more on people than tasks.

For example, if I ever get snippy, impatient, or bossy, check to see if I'm trying to get something done.  Usually, that's it.  (Or I might be hungry.  That's it sometimes, too.)

Not that I use this as an excuse.  I am always working to moderate this side of me, but it is a natural part of who I am.  A people-person would rather sit and chat with someone for hours and leave their kitchen half-cleaned, or their laundry half-folded, or their Facebook half-checked.  That's just who they are.  It's wrong, but it's who they are.

I'm kidding.

Mostly.

Having a toddler around has recently thrown my task-oriented self for a huge loop.  I get really frustrated when I start something and then get interrupted.  It's like a part of my brain just shuts down and ignores everything else until it's finished.

But obviously I can't do that with a toddler.  Everything is interrupted when there's a toddler around.  And you can't really blame them.  They need help with just about everything, even in our house, where we've really tried to give her as much independence and access as possible.

So I've been working on coping mechanisms.  They're  not perfect, but they are the result of over a year of relearning how to do just about everything.  And in the spirit of the article, I will interrupt what I am trying to say periodically with pictures of Cricket trying to distract you.

1)  Make Tiny Tasks

Don't try to tackle an entire project.  Break it up into smaller pieces and focus on completing one of those.

Instead of trying to empty the whole dishwasher, I just try to empty the silverware.  Then the top tray.  Then the bottom tray.  Three separate goals for three separate times.

If I'm trying to prepare for a meal or make something during the day, I just do one step at a time.  I might chop onions, and then go push Cricket on the swing.  Later, I'll come back and wash all the potatoes, then leave and change a diaper.  I might boil the pasta, put it in the fridge, and then go read books to Cricket.

It's not just in the kitchen, either.  I might upload pictures from my camera in one sitting, go through and edit them in another, and then upload them to Facebook in a third.  (I don't have an iPhone.)

Or, instead of cleaning the entire bathroom at one time, I might only clean the sink.  Then later, or even the next day, I might clean the toilet.  Then later, the floors, etc.

Sometimes I even prep during nap time things that I can't do until she wakes up, like putting things in the food processor but waiting to turn it on.

If I think of each step as an individual task, it makes it much easier for me to break things up throughout the day.

2)  Prioritize

I plan my day in terms of what I call "time units."  My time units right now are basically broken down into five parts:  Before She Wakes Up, Morning, Nap Time, Afternoon, After Her Bedtime.  I prioritize what I do, not just by what is most important, but by what it is most important to get done during that time period.  For example, she's a light sleeper, so I save quiet things like folding laundry for nap time, and do things like washing dishes in the morning when she is content to play independently.

This prioritizing by time units helps me get the most out of the day and not feel like I'm spinning my wheels trying to do things that I can't seem to finish.

Well, not feel as much like that, anyway.

3)  Constantly tell yourself "My baby is more important."

This is self-explanatory, but worth including.  If I get really frustrated, this is my mantra.  Even if nothing at all gets done all day, I've played with Cricket, she's healthy, and she's cared for.  Mission Accomplished.

4)  Make lists

I know some people don't like lists, but they are my life-support system.  Because of our real food emphasis and my trying to save money by making stuff myself, I have a never ending list of things I need to do or make, like granola bars, cereal, chopping and freezing veggies, making bread, making bath salts, etc.  (That last one is not applicable to the real food part of the conversation.  I do not recommend eating bath salts.)

I also have a list pad on the fridge that is our running grocery list, so when we are out of something, or I think of something we need, I immediately write it down and don't have to remember in a week when I go shopping.

As a task-oriented person, lists help me feel in control.  I can point to my list and say, "Look what I have accomplished!  I have done things!"  I have even been known to add things to my daily to-do lists just so that I can cross them off and prove that I did stuff.  Hey, it works!

5)  Be realistic

I have slowly and painfully realized that I have new limitations now that I am chasing and being chased by a small person.  I've gotten to where I won't put more than about five things on my daily to-do list, because it's almost impossible for me to accomplish more than that.  I just had to adjust to a new normal, and that's ok.

If you are not a task-oriented person, first of all, you probably quit reading this a while ago because it doesn't apply to you, and because you don't feel the need to finish reading just out of obligation like the rest of us.  You also probably think I'm kind of crazy and very uptight.  While that may be, hopefully some of the things I've said ring true to a few people.

Right?

How to be Awesome at Renaissance Faires

I don't know if you know this, but I am a nerd.

Yeah, you probably figured it out by now.

Anyway, as a nerd family, we look forward every year to attending the Georgia Renaissance Festival.  In costumes.  Homemade costumes.  With weapons.

Well, Brian has weapons.  I have a parasol.  But it can be lethal!  Just ask anyone who walked beside me for two seconds when I wasn't paying attention.  Or ask Brian.

Here we are, along with our little Cricket, at the Renaissance Festival in April.

She was a baby dragon.  I know.  So freakin' cute it hurts.  I know.

Renaissance Festivals, or "Ren Fests" as they're known to people on the inside (and people who have trouble typing and/or spelling 'Renaissance'), are just like sporting events, concerts, or really any recreational activity in that there are three types of people who attend:

1)  People who enjoy it.

2)  People who really love it.

3)  People who make tankards out of real animal skulls to hang on their belt as an accessory.

We fall somewhere in that middle category.

However, I know there may be people out there who are curious, and might want to try it out, but might be a little intimidated not knowing what it's like, so I put together a handy list to help you get started.

1)  Go in costume.

My ranger costume.  Brian made it for me.

This is a must to truly be awesome.  Yes, you can enjoy the festival in your jeans and tank top, but you won't really feel like a part of it unless you're wearing the right clothes.  When you meet the king and queen, how are you going to say, "Good day, Your Highness," and curtsy/bow without feeling stupid unless your dressed the part?  Plus, there aren't enough chances for adults to play dress up, so when it's actually encouraged, go for it!

The Georgia Renaissance Festival actually has a place right outside the main gate where you can rent costumes for a day.  We did this the first time we came.  They cost ye pretty royal penny, but it's easier than assembling your own outfit.  Plus, that first time we went, it was raining, so at the end of the day, we got to leave our wet, muddy clothes there and drive home in dry ones!  Win!

2)  Eat the Food

Steak on a stake and corn dipped in butter.  Yes.

Yes, it's expensive.  No, it's not healthy.  But it's fun, and gnawing on a turkey leg the size of my baby makes me feel like Friar Tuck, and that is awesome.

3)  Interact

The Black Knight, giving autographs.

If you're like me, getting into character always feels a little weird, but go for it anyway!  Curtsy/bow to others dressed in costume, especially kids.  They love that.  Most of all, interact with the cast members.  That's what they're paid for, and they're really good at it.  One guy, an Arab trader character, had us in stitches within thirty seconds of saying hello.  Once, we chatted with DaVinci and he gave us directions.  These guys are professionals, and they're worth talking to.  The more you get into it, the more they will.

4)  Go to the Shows

Who doesn't want to see a half-naked man sling a ball
into a bucket on his head while riding a unicycle?
Nobody doesn't.  That's who.

Most Ren Fests have at least some performances, and they're usually worth seeing.  Some more than others, granted, but even the so-so ones are worth it usually for the laughs.  There are some impressive acrobats, hilarious comedians, and crazy people who will cover themselves in mud or light themselves on fire, just to get an audience.  Worth it.

5)  Be Prepared

Hat, pouches, bag, and comfy shoes.

Take water, sunscreen, comfortable shoes (even if they don't go with your costume), bug spray, extra money (you'll need it) and something to shade you from the sun, like a hat, a parasol, a bandanna, or whatever.  You also might need a blanket to sit on when you get tired, snacks if you don't want to buy what they're selling (but see above), a fan if it gets hot, and something to carry what you buy.  And you will buy things.  Oh, and you'll need a camera.  Definitely bring a camera.  Someone needs to see a picture of you wearing a bustier and/or a kilt.

Most costumes don't have pockets, (ask me how I know) so you'll need something to hold your money, credit card (yes, they take those), camera, etc.  Work it into your costume.  A leather pouch on your belt or a pretty purse that matches your dress work really well.

Most importantly, have fun.  Watch people.  Learn something new from a demonstrator.  Try something you've never tried before.  You'll catch the bug, and soon, you'll be wearing elf ears and quaffing mead with the rest of us!  Huzzah!

Step 7

Bribe Yourself

I may have mentioned before that I am pretty bad about procrastinating.  I just naturally don't do things that seem difficult or unpleasant.  Some people are awesome at that.  They just suck it up and get it over with.  My roommate in college, Kasey, was really good at that.  She would come back from a trip and start unpacking as soon as she walked in the door.  I'm lucky if I'm not still living out of my suitcase by the time the next trip rolls around!

It takes a little more effort for me to make myself do the not fun stuff, and while I can sometimes just be like, "DO IT, SELF!" most of the time, I have to be a bit more subtle.

I have found that bribing myself works very well.

I am not even kidding about this.  The conversation in my head goes something like this.

"I really need to fold clothes."

"Yeah, but I hate folding clothes.  I'm just not going to do it."

"What if I made a glass of lemonade to drink while I'm folding?"

"Meh."

"What if I made lemonade AND I listened to an audiobook while I'm folding?"

"Well, I guess so.  But only if I set the timer for fifteen minutes, and then I can take a break and do something fun."

I am not at all joking about that being real.  And it totally works.  I think this means I'm really a spoiled two-year-old on the inside, which is probably not good, but since the "just do it" approach doesn't work very well with me, I figure I should go with what works instead of still trying what doesn't.

There are lots of things I like to bribe myself with:

lemonade
listening to audiobooks
reading afterwards
crafting afterwards
Facebook afterwards
listening to music
"Once I finish this, I'll make lunch."
Starbucks

You get the idea.  I try not to use too much food as rewards, because as a teacher I learned that can lead to unhealthy relationships with food.  Not kidding.  Drinks sometimes, yes.  And I do occasionally use food or snacks, but I really try to use fun stuff instead.

I think the idea here is that I'm giving up on the "I'm a grown-up and so I just do this stuff," idea, which has never worked for me, and going with the, "I'll give you a treat if you'll clean your room," idea which seems to work quite well.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go fold clothes while I listen to my audiobook.

Step 6

 

Just, lots of bags.

It's been a while since I've written any steps to Being Awesome at Everything, so I thought it was time for another.  This is an organizational tip.  It involves bags.

Ever been on an errand and realize when you get there that the one thing you absolutely had to have in order to complete the errand was still at home, sitting by the door?  Ever get really frustrated because you got to dance class and realized you left your shoes by the front door?  Or you went to Starbucks to read and then realized you forgot your book?

Me neither.

But we can pretend those things might happen.

My solution is to become the worlds most non-homeless bag lady.  Seriously, I am about six cats and a spitting habit away from being that woman with the shopping cart.  Why?  Because I compartmentalize my life into tote bags.  I have a million of them--one for every area of my life.

My everyday bag:   This is my most important bag.  It goes with me every time I leave the house, even if I think I won't need it.  It's small and just has a few important things in it, like the book I'm reading, my planner/calendar, a pen and a pencil, the notebook where I keep my lists, etc. 

If I have a coupon I need to remember to use, it goes in there.  If I have a library book I need to remember to return, it goes in there, because I know that bag is going to the car with me the next time I leave.

My quilting bag:  Of course, this has all my quilting stuff in it, so I don't have to run around the morning I'm going to Bekah's and find my rotary cutter, scissors, fabric, thread, etc.  All in one bag.  All the time.

My dance bag:  This one has my dance shoes, extra socks, random jewelry from some theme class a while bag, etc.

So you get the idea.  I have a bag for everything, and the idea is that when I'm at home and I think, "Oh, I need to remember to bring "such and such" to dance, you just throw it in the bag and then it's there for next time.  And there are all kinds of bags.  Shoot, even Brian has a gear bag that he never leaves home without.  He calls it his 10-piece survival kit.  I call it a man-purse, but whatever.  He's got everything he needs.

Being Awesome at Everything is a lot about being prepared.  I'm prepared to go quilt when I have my quilting bag.  Brian is prepared for the zombie appocalypse when he has his survival bag.  It's all about preparation.

Now the only trick is, don't forget your bag.

Step 5

Take Shortcuts

I almost made step 5 "Cheat" instead of "Take Shortcuts" because that's how I think of it, but I didn't want it to sound shady.  I don't mean like, "I'm just gonna dilute this house paint with a few gallons of liquid lead 'cause it's way cheaper" type shortcuts.  I mean, like, find ways to make your life easier.

For example, cooking is not exactly my life's passion.  I don't mind it, and I certainly enjoy eating, but cooking is not like, what I just love to do.  So when I cook, I try to use as many shortcuts as I can, and this really starts at the grocery store.  Buying pre-sliced mushrooms, pre-grated cheese, pre-minced garlic, pre-cut salad, etc. saves tons of time, effort, and steps in cooking.  Now, I realize this is not authentic, Pioneer-style cooking here, but I'm not out to win any awards---yet.  I'm just trying to get dinner made with enough time left over to eat it before bed.  Plus, I just really hate grating cheese.   I always end up grating my finger.

You can do shortcuts in house cleaning, too.  I safety pin my socks together before I put them in the laundry, which means not spending ten minutes searching for a matching sock the next morning!  I suppose folding your clothes and putting them in a drawer would count as a shortcut too, because then you don't spend 15 minutes searching for a shirt the next day--but I'm not that awesome yet.  Working on it.

In crafts, shortcuts would be like, ordering pre-cut fabric squares, which I totally did, or buying the no-sew fleece blanket kits, which I think is just a fleece blanket that you take out of the package and hold up while you say, TA DA!!!  Of course, the apron kit I got yesterday is a sewing shortcut, too.  None of this, "buying a pattern and trying to pin tissue paper to fabric" stuff.  Just get the pattern already printed on the fabric!  Excellent!

I was trying to think of any shortcuts to exercising, and all I could think of were steroids.  I wouldn't recommend that.

I'm sure there are lots more shortcuts out there, but my point is, don't make things harder than they have to be.  Being awesome means finding the best way to do everything, and not having to grate your own cheese/finger is definitely the best way.

Step 4

Treat Yourself Like You're Awesome

I am lucky that I learned this lesson at an early age.  I know many people who feel guilty when they do something for themselves or take time for themselves, and that's just sad.  Doing awesome things for yourself makes you FEEL awesome, which in turn makes you act awesome. 

I try to do one nice thing for myself every day, but really, it's usually more often than that.  I know things that make me happy and I do them.  They don't have to be big things--I mean, cruises make me really happy, but I don't go get one for myself.  It can be small things, like wearing a lotion that smells nice or taking a fifteen minute break to read a book.

1)  So the first step in Treating Yourself Like You're Awesome is knowing yourself.  What do you like?  What makes you smile?  What makes you happy inside?  I know that sounds super cheesy, but I also know people who can't answer those questions.  Not awesome.

Things I know about myself:  I like bright colors, chocolate, dancing, my friends and family, books, laughing, and learning new things.

For example, bright colors make me really happy.  Like, really happy.  So if I need a pick me up, I wear my yellow shirt or my brightly colored jewelry, or I paint my nails blue.  Or like on the previous post, when I'm setting up my moving plan, instead of numbering the rooms, I use a bright color-code so that every time I see it, it makes me happy, even when I'm doing something I hate, like packing.

2)  Pampering yourself is another great way to Treat Yourself Like You're Awesome.  I mean, who doesn't love to be pampered?  And this isn't just a girl thing.  I know several guys who love this stuff.  Massages, pedicures, facials, makeovers, spa time--those are all awesome ways to relax and de-stress.  Even if you can't spend the money to go to a spa, there are lots of pampering things you can do at home. 

And pampering doesn't mean the same thing to everyone.  Sports, hobbies, etc. can all be in this category.  I know working out for me is a form of pampering, because it's time I set aside just for me, and I feel great about myself when I do it. 

3)  And then of course, everyone likes buying things for themselves.  That's always fun, and a great way to be nice to yourself.  I probably do this too much, and I'm gonna need to scale back now that I'm not working, but that's ok.  It will just make it that much more special when I do buy something.  And it doesn't have to be something big.  Whether it's clothes, a latte, a video game, jewelry, sports or hobby equipment, etc. buying something can be a great way to reward ourselves for a goal met or a job well done, or to give us a pick-me-up when we're discouraged.

I personally love buying books, and I have a membership at Books-a-Million, so I get a discount, which is great.  I also love buying craft supplies, which is double fun because then you also get to do the craft!

4)  Saving the best for last, the best thing you can do to Treat Yourself Like You're Awesome is to only use positive self-talk.  This is gonna sound all psycology-ish, but it's really just common sense.  If someone you loved told you, "You can't do that.  You can't do anything right," or "You're terrible at that," you'd be heartbroken.  And yet we tell ourselves those things all the time. 

Don't. 

Just stop. 

Only talk to yourself like you would talk to someone else.  I know it sounds kinda silly and feely-good, but it makes a huge difference.  When you hear yourself start being negative, just be like, "Self, you can't talk to me that way."

(And by the way, please say that out loud in public sometime, and have a hidden camera to record the reactions.)

And don't even tell me you don't have time to do this stuff.  You make time for what's important, and you are important. 

Ok, so start Treating Yourself Like You're Awesome today.  Ready?  Go!

Step 3

Be like Awesome People

For our inspiration, I thought I would start a list of People Who are Awesome.  This is just part 1 of the list.

Sean Connery--He has an awesome voice.  That is enough.
Queen Elizabeth I--She awesomely defeated the Spanish Armada, brought her country back from the brink of bankruptcy, and had awesome books and movies made about her.
Willis Haviland Carrier--Invented the first modern electric air conditioner.  Enough said.
Jon Stewart--He is the only reason I don't go postal during election years.  That's awesome for everyone around me.
Mark Zuckerberg--Say what you will about him.  He invented Facebook.  And that's awesome.
Terry Pratchett--Dude has written or helped write over 71 books, averaging 2 a year.  And they're awesome.  Plus, he's been knighted.  That's automatic awesome, that is.

Like I said, this is only part one of the list.  Give me more ideas!!!

Step 2

Get Help

There are only a few people who are awesome all on their own, like Alli Brosh who writes Hyperbole and a Half.  Most of us need help. 

I need...a lot of help.  So part of my becoming awesome is finding the best resources for all the different areas of awesome I am trying for. 

Take my summer list, for example.  The one in the sidebar called How to be Awesome This Summer, hereafter shortened to List 1.

Ok, so take List 1.  I need help with most of those things.  Cleaning and/or organizing, for instance, is not something I do on  my own.  Ever.  Like, y'all have no idea.  So I found this great site a few years ago called Flylady.  It gets an A+ for Awesome.  It starts with little baby steps and tells you how to clean and organize your house, and how to get into routines so that the house doesn't keep getting messy.  I did it for a summer a while back (which is now always refered to as "That Summer When I Cleaned Stuff") and it worked great.  I fell off the wagon when school started back, but now, I'm getting back on!

Also, exercise.  I used to be awesome at this on my own.  In college, I OWNED being awesome at exercise.  I would get up at four freakin' thirty in the morning just to go run five miles on a treadmill before my classes. 

I lost that awesome somewhere.

So now, I can only exercise if it is highly entertaining to me and I don't have time to think about the fact that I'm exercising.  That's where Dance Trance comes in.  I love to dance, but there's not a lot of call for it unless you go to clubs, which Brian hates, or unless you're a professional, which ain't gonna happen.  But I found this dance fitness class, and it's been, like, the most life-changing discovery ever.  But some people don't like to dance, and that's cool, I guess.  I know some of my friends love their boot camp classes, even though from what it sounds like, it's pretty much paying someone to do things to you that they frown on at Gitmo.  Seriously, they'll be all braggin' about flipping tractor tires across a field or running until they throw up.  But whatever, dude, if that empowers you....go for it.  The point is, help is good. 

And as far as working on hobbies goes, that varies from day to day.  Right now, I'm working on a Shutterfly album a little each day.  Most everyone knows about Shutterfly and Snapfish and all those, but if you've never tried it, you should.  They are awesome, especially for people like me who like to scrapbook, but who don't have the time to pull everything out and work on it, the space to leave it all set up, or the money to buy millions of adorable, three dimensional, with-real-moving-parts stickers at $5 each, or paper for $1 per sheet, etc.  Virtual scrapbooking FTW!!!  And, I've always been really impressed with the final products.

The other ones on List 1 are reading books and packing, both of which I can pretty much handle on my own, although Flylady does have packing tips, too. 

And by the way, I did manage to do all 5 things on my list yesterday, so that's awesome.

So now, tell me your favorite places and links that help you be awesome.  I can always use more!

Step 1

Make Lists

Lists are very important to being awesome.  You can't expect to be awesome by accident, so you have to plan.  And the best way to plan is to make lists.

I love lists.  I love checking things off and seeing my list get smaller and smaller.  Mostly I like lists because I am not a "big picture" kinda person.  When I start looking at the big picture, or really, even a medium sized picture, I start getting nervous and panicky and then try to find something else to do.  It's like, the big picture of whatever I'm planning becomes a big picture of a huge spider.  I instantly want to be as far away from that picture as possible.

So, lists help me see the step by step instead of the big scary spider picture.  They also give me something else to do.  So before I start anything, I make lists.

I made a lot of lists the day I finished packing up my classroom.  I even  made a flowchart, which is like what lists want to be when they grow up.  I have a daily checklist, a weekly checklist, a summer goals checklist, a moving checklist, and then checklists for cleaning and packing each room of the house. 

Excessive?  I think not.  I hate spiders.