“Mrs. Grubbs, I had to sleep on the couch last night ‘cause my DVD player in my room started sparking. I just put in the Bones Season 6 DVD and it started sparking!”
As a girl from my class and her younger brother ran down the hall, I hear her call, in her best mother voice,
“Don’t run! You could fall—like you do every time you run!”
“Mom hated dirt so much she swup it.”
Andrew said his back hurt, so I gave him a couple of karate chops to make it feel better.
Andrew: “UGH! Mrs. Grubbs! First you steal my tater tots, and now you karate chop my back!”
Emilee: “Yeah. She’s an awesome teacher.”
“My dad dared me to bring a girly lunchbox to school today…I thought he meant a little pink, but he meant REEEEEALLLY girly!!!!” (and he did, too)
One of my co-worker's kids just looked at me one morning and said, “Woah! Bad hair day!”
(one student to another)
“Hey, remember that time Robot Minjas attacked us on the playground when we were by ourselves?!”
The kids were doing a Thanksgiving acrostic naming things they are thankful for.
Me: Sweetie, are you really thankful for Vikings, or was that just the only v word you could think of?
Student: <exasperated> Mrs. Grubbs! Vikings were the first people to discover America! That’s really important!
I stand corrected.
Me: I didn’t get a cell phone until I was 22—and married.
Student: WOAH!! That’s…...that’s...…not something you hear every day!
“A wasp can sting like a bee, ‘cept it hurts WORSER!!!"
One first grader, known for his vivid imagination, was telling everyone about something crazy, and after a while, one of his classmates finally looked at him and just said, “My Lord, Ian!”
I was invited to be a back-up singer in one of the first graders' new band. But he made me agree to a few things first:
1) I’m not allowed to play any orchestra instruments, especially tuba.
2) We are going to make a lot of money.
3) No fighting.
4) I have to try out first, to make sure I’m good.
On the list of things you never thought students would have to say to a teacher:
“Mrs. Grubbs, where should I put your sword so I can get a beanbag?”
Me: Zorro was a bandit, but he was a good bandit.
Student: Kinda like a frienemy!
“My friend is glad I gave him these stickers so now he has a sword for minja monkey.”
"Mrs. Grubbs, if we were in Miami, I think we should name our school Christian School International, so we could be CSI Miami."
Name one season in which hail usually falls.
"In my world, every Wednesday is Hairy Pickle Day."
Our Journal prompt was "The Time I Spent the Night at School"
Student 1: "One day I was working inside at school when KBAMMM!!! a blizzard hit and I could not get out so what I did was I snuck into the office and put black make up on my face to use as war paint. Then the battle was on. Then I ran and tried to bust out a window. Well, let's just say that's why I wear a cast..."
Student 2: "One day I spent the night at school...all the lights went out, and I mean all the lights. Not a single one worked. Then I heard feet squeaking. It was a tragedy."
Two students were arguing over who got to sit in the bean bag chair.
Me: Who got to it first?
Student: She did.
Me: Ok, well then she gets to sit in it.
Student: Yeah, but don't you always tell us to put others before ourselves??
"Mrs. Grubbs, for some reason the tango got stuck in my head. Then I started singing the hokey pokey, and I was trying to do one with one side of my body and one with the other side, and it's not really working out."